How fucking dare you.

Not only do you have the absolute WORST timing to “pour your heart out to me”, but you obviously have no respect for me..I recall asking you to never contact me again. Does that mean nothing to you?

What scares me though, is that even though I am pissed as fucking hell that he chose NOW to tell me he cares, but I find this kind of funny.

I was so hurt over losing you..then I moved on…only for you to realize you’re not over me…

After so long.

I told you so. I told you that you lost the best thing that ever happened to you.

I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO.

Karma does exist, and she is an even BIGGER bitch than they say.

I’m fucking glad she was on my side this time.

I have reached an all new level of crazy and depression.

Love makes you crazy.

And I’m going crazy without you.

Sometimes I want to punch holes in my wall.

Sometimes I want to pull each and every single hair out from my head so I can feel the pain growing.

Sometimes I want to run until my lungs collapse.

And then, I start to lose it.

Sometimes I want to jump from the top of a building.

Sometimes I want to lay down in the middle of the freeway.

Sometimes I want to leave without saying goodbye, to a place no one will think to look for me.

Sometimes I want to die.

And sometimes, all I’m really doing is crying out for help and have no intentions of ever doing any of those things.

This is one of those times, but all I want is you.

I have never felt love like this before..hell, before you, I had no clue what love actually was or what it was supposed to feel like. We’ve fought like fucking crazy..we’ve said some fucked up shit to one another..but at the end of the day I know that I love you with all of my hear and soul. You are my best friend..my soulmate..my other half…my everything. There is no one in this world that I want to spend my life with, except with you. Josh, I love you and I will never give up..I will fight for us till my last breath.

I need to start working out hardcore. I just. I need to make myself happy with the way I look.

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I am losing my way; I’m blacking out.

I know what I need to do and what to get done, but I cannot seem to put in the effort.

I am no longer me. This depression that has been weighing on my shoulders since I was 8 years old is getting out of control. It has consumed me almost completely…and it’s starting to get to the point that if I don’t start trying to fight back to take control of my life and find myself again, and start fighting soon, that I will lose myself for good.

I have come to terms that I need some serious help..atleast, if I want to save my own life…

I haven’t posted on here in quite some time.

Let me give you the low-down on what you’ve missed, people of tumblr. (I love how I act like people care)

I am out trying to make it on my own, and struggling quite a bit.

I’ve suffered some major loses and have no time to cope with them. (R.I.P Sweetheart :[ I miss and love you babygirl…I can’t believe it’s already been 2 months since you passed away…3/15/12)

Some horrible memories have been brought back to the front of my mind and now it’s all that I can think about…I’m trying my best to stay strong, but it’s hard when I don’t have much to distract my mind from wandering back into that dark place…

And even though my heart has grown significantly colder and I’ve slipped into a new level of depression…I am still managing to survive and keep a positive outlook.

I’ve learned more in the past 2-3 months than I think I ever have in my whole life.

I still get lost and still want to give up sometimes, but at the end of the day (or start of the next one), I will stay strong.

Third day crying.

My eyes are going to be permanently puffy and red.

Like a pathetic puppy, you can kick me, and I will still come back to you.

But there are only so many times you can kick a puppy before it starts to fight back.